Hey diary, it's
been another fabmazing day for me and I can't wait to dish. Yeah so diary would
you believe, I almost beat up some dude today. Okay, before you gasp in utter
horror let me tell my side of the story.
I had gone out
for what we call at the office "jungle waka" which just basically
means field assignment. Seizing that opportunity to pick up one of my best friends
along the way,we made a day of it. Having a laugh plus all the work covered
coupled with my awesome taste in music made the day quite enjoyable. I didn't
realise just how much more enjoyable it was about to get.
With the
rigamarole of the day, we soon found ourselves at the bank where I'd gone to
deposit some money. On getting out of the bank, I attempted to negotiate the
rather small space allowed for cars to move. Now diary, you know how tight
G.R.A junction can be with the slew of banks in that small enclosure so I had
my work cut out for me in trying to maneuver back onto Aba road.
It was in this
moment of slowly edging along that another car pulls into this small space and
seeing that I'd have to reverse a bit to allow for some wriggle room, I put the
car in reverse to do just that. However, the man in the other car was having
none of this and wanted me to reverse all the way back to my bank.
Okay, diary you
know me, jaguda with a touch of class I tried motioning to him what I had in
mind which would be to our mutual benefit but this bros wanted me to know who
was boss. "I see", I said as I put the car in park, checked my fuel
level, full tank and proceeded to have a girls day out in the car with my
friend. When this dude saw us chugging cokes and eating meat pies, he came down
from his car and quickly covered the distance between his car and mine.
Dearest diary,
I'm sure you've heard the phrase "it was on like donkey Kong" roughly
translated into our naija term "gbege." Bros was livid and screaming
away like a banshee but I didn't budge. Well, that is, until he decided to
smack my car with his hand and that for me, was when my crase kicked in.
Swiftly coming
down from the car which was a shock to him as he was not expecting that, a
shock further heightened when my girl friend also alighted and came towards him
as well.
Talk about
double trouble! "Oga, why did you hit my car?" to which my pal said,
"are you looking for a beating? Because we would give you a beating so
amazing your ancestors will cry for you." At this bros blinks rapidly not
sure of his stance any longer.
You could see
the wheels turning inside his head on what to do when he was saved further
embarrassment by some mopol men who came and told him to shift his car a little
and we would both be able to pass. With a snap of my fingers I muttered
"God save you," my pal and I entered the car, maneuvered around him
and quickly sped off just incase he got the bright idea to follow us. We spent
the rest of the day full of fun and absolutely, drama free and that, dear diary
was how I almost ended up beating up some random fella. Make I go sleep jare
diary, I wonder what I'll do tomorrow...
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